seeing that my cousin was talking about the "ho stroll"...a conversation popped in my head that i recently had with my neighbor....
let me back peddle a little....
Unit #200 - walking into my hallway the first door on the right...#200 always smells like shit/cigarettes/crack/weed/homeless person...whatever the hell you wanna call it...
i sometimes hear people yelling in there fighting, and dare i say folks gettin beat down! crazy i kno...next time i remember. i will take a picture of the door and show you guys the lock..it looks like there place has been broken into a couple times...there a couple times i see cigarette butts laying outside of there place...other times when im in the hot tub i see smoke coming out there windows...odorless mind you...you kno what that means...i mean come on have some class here....
Unit #212 - straight up crazy old pervert looking man always leaves his door open, and you can always see straight through his door...sometimes he has nothing but his tighty whitey's on...no joke..its creepy and sometimes when he gets on the elevator with me i totally get off on the wrong floor jus so he doesnt have a clue on where i actually live.
and finally
Unit #205 - the guy that lives right across the hall from me...yes right across the hall from me...i think sells weed...not sure...but my neighbors have copped from him...and they swear its good...but the fact that he slangs right acorss the hall from me...not a good look...
so, now that you are caught up...lemme finish.
i make friends with the security guards...it always helps...tip to anyone reading...it always good to be nice to the blue collar worker guys in your building...they can get your keys when they fall down the elevator shoot, help you with your parking space if someone is not supposed to park there, and protect you and not let people up if you tell them, or vice versa and allow the delivery guy to actually go straight to your door and you not having to walk down to the lobby to get it.
i instantly befriend this one guard that is originally from hawaii...ole...middle aged down to earth guard that says the funniest things!
we start to talking and i start to vent about how the people in the beginning of the hall always stink the place up...and he then goes on to tell me...(not knowing anything but what ive mentioned above) that their place got raided a couple times for prostitution/drug trafficking, and that the owners of the building have been trying to evict them for years but always gets caught up in red tape...and then he goes to tell me and i quote "your floor is like the tenderloin of the building".
what? did i hear you rite?...did you sir jus call my floor the TL?
really...then images start to pop through my mind...
my response..."are you freakin serious?, like are they crackheads? have you guys seen the hookers? am i safe"
the guard instantly sees that im worried and he goes on to tell me im fine and that they always do patrols nightly on every floor...but assures me that it'll be okay...
moral of the story...no matter how much you pay, or how safe you think you are...there will always be crackheads and hoes lurking around somewhere! the trick is not to run into one yourself!
im jus sayin'
maybe the funniest post i have ever read
ReplyDeleteyaaay glad you liked it.
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